What Abortion Really Looks Like
You have my total permission to re-print my story. If it helps stop any one from making this horrible mistake, or helps anyone who has made this mistake, I am all for it.
Hello whoever you are,
I guess I'm just reaching out to tell my story, or maybe get this off my chest, to warn other people. I am a " sinner, baby killer and whore". I was never told how much I would hurt after this. I was never told that I would re-live the event everyday. I was never told I could feel the life being sucked from my womb. They made it sound easy, simple, painless and made it sound all right.
It is regret. It is feeling dirty.
Had I known it would hurt so much emotionally. I would not have proceeded. Had some one told me, that this would be stuck with me forever. I would never have entered the clinic.
It has only been two days since my mistake.
Friday night my now ex boyfriend was arrested for domestic violence charges against me. He had hit me several times. I was six weeks pregnant. I was given council about what I could do and what not. I had spoken with a "friend" and she said " Get an abortion, you'll hate the kid forever"
Saturday morning I found myself outside of the planned parenthood facility. It was the day before mother's day. It was a fact that hit me moments before entering. There were many people trying to hand me literature. One with a rosary, one young lady yelled at me " It's ok, you can be a mother". Her words ran through me like electricity. It made the decision so much harder.
After being in the clinic for about two hours I was finally called in. I could not afford the anesthesia, so I was awake the entire procedure. They told me I would feel a little pressure. It felt as if someone was ripping me open. "You'll feel a little prick and numbness" I felt the needle, and still felt the pain. I screamed. I tried to hold the nurses hand, but she had pulled away. I felt every move that doctor made. I heard them vacuum the child from my womb. When it was all over, and too late, they just handed me a maxi pad and a damp cloth and walked out of the room. Having a bad reaction to the Novocain they injected into my cervix, cramping beyond no pain I've felt before, I put my clothes back on, silently. I was then escorted into a recovery room.
I was provided a pill that would shrink my cervix back to normal, and two extra strength Tylenol. Every other woman in the room was in shock. We laid there, heating pads over our stomachs, all regretting what we did. It was a common feeling in the air. Tears were shed. The nurses, they attempted to lighten the room. It made no difference. We killed our children. We gave into this horrible idea that it wasn't a person, that it was ok to murder.
I sit here today, incapable of going to work. I see people walking down the street, I know they have no way of knowing, but I still feel so awful.
If someone would of only gotten to me before I even was pregnant, before I even graduate high school. It would be different.
I wanted that child. It was never a mistake, a child is never a mistake. Getting rid of it was.
I wish I knew about your site before this.